The writing business is rough. You put stuff out there, and you kind of have to accept that rejection is the baseline. That's the thing you have to earn yourself out of. Success is never a given. You've got to toughen your skin. None of this is new information, of course. If you read any sort of writing advice, this is a front-and-center thing.
And you've got to allow yourself to be critiqued. You've got to be able to take your licks and then stand up and say, "All right, what's next?"
But when you're looking for critique, look for critique that is useful. It isn't good critique just because it tears you down. (Nor is it just because it fluffs you up, either.) Choose your critique partners with care, because getting tied in with someone who isn't interested in actually critiquing your work-- or worse, thinks they understand what critique is, but doesn't-- can do so much more harm than good.
Here's my little story: I was on one small, private on-line critique group. The set-up was pretty casual: upload things to a shared folder, and then critiques are either A. sent via group email or B. also uploaded to the shared folder. No specific timeline, just put it up and people will get to it or not. Because of this system, I had some things up there that I wasn't actually seeking critique on anymore. But I hadn't taken them down, mostly because I wanted the other members of the group to be able to look at the whole body of work/larger plan if they were so inclined.
And then I got this on one manuscript.
Wow. That's brutal, no?
That's the sort of critique that could send someone running for the hills. Heck, that's not even a critique, that's a dressing down.
Fortunately, I just laughed at it, and then promptly deleted myself from that group.
Because the manuscript in question was The Thorn of Dentonhill, which at that point had already netted me an agent and was out on submission. And it was bought by my publisher just a few weeks after I got this. I mean, what exactly was this person trying to accomplish with this critique? I'm not sure. But I feel like they were trying to just grind me down.
And, like I said, this business is tough, and you do not get handed anything and certainly don't deserve anything you don't earn-- you don't just get handed accolades and awards and film options-- but you need to keep pushing on as they try to grind you down. Success could be right around the corner, and if you let them beat you-- you let a drubbing like that one up there break you-- you won't get there.
Because there are people who've realized that they aren't going to make it in this business, and then they decide they don't want anyone else to either. They will try to grind you down.
Illegitimi non carborundum
Don't let the bastards grind you down.